Bad habits.
We all have them. Whether it’s ego, envy, expectation or some other e word, even the smallest of bad habits can lead to a lifetime of regret. These are those things that may feel good in the moment, but when unaddressed can slowly eat at your soul.
But you’ll never heal what you don’t reveal, so let’s get right into it. Even if it’s not the first thing you want , the best place to deal with pain is right in the middle of it.
When it’s EGO
Ego can be a two edged sword. On one side, it can be the boost you need, especially when not much is expected from people who come from where you come from. If you don’t believe in yourself who will right? But, there’s a difference between confidence, and outright I don’t need anybody but myself cockiness.
It could be a personal project, new venture or a business idea. Whatever the case is, let me tell you this now...you don’t have to do it alone! Get a mentor, a partner, a trainer, an assistant....because you aren’t meant to carry this load by yourself!
What’s funny is how our egos will whisper in our ears “you don’t need them they’ll just get in the way (or slow you down…or steal your ideas…or eat at your profits), when often it’s just our own insecurities talking to us. A scarcity mentality will have you not inviting others to the party no one wants to come to anyway. When you finally let ego go though, you’ll find there’s more than enough and you’ll excel higher than you ever could have on our own. “If you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
When it’s ENVY
Ever find yourself side eyeing someone because you just can’t believe they are THAT damn happy? Are you petty and prejudice on purpose? This might be you.
Don’t get me wrong though. There’s a huge difference between wanting people to do better (I’d call that petty with a purpose), and wishing for someone’s demise simply because they’re doing something you don’t want to, don’t understand or aren’t able to do. Envy will even have you putting your own limitations on those closest to you. I couldn’t do it, so how the hell are you?
There’s a reverse side to envy though. Sometimes we actually hold our own selves back due to fear or being judged by others.
NEWSFLASH!
They were gone talk about you anyway!
When you’re thinking outside the very box most have become comfortable in, you’ll likely make others around you uncomfortable. “Different” is naturally going to disturb people that are living their lives boxed into the same barriers you are trying to break.
Also consider this…your friends, family and those close to you may not be ready to see a different you yet, and that’s ok. It’s like when you’re accustomed to your one year old acting and moving in a certain way and then suddenly, the two year old in them comes out, and you’re NOT READY!.
Kinda frustrating…but try to understand that this is actually a natural stage in development. So yes, you should be excited when your 2 year old starts to test every boundary imaginable, they’re just developing properly :-).
It’s the same way in which a caterpillar wasn’t created to only crawl on the ground. To become a butterfly, change is NECESSARY.
So let’s realize a couple things:
Evolution is not only natural, it’s necessary. You can change the trajectory of your life and that’s pretty powerful.
When you focus on someone else’s gift you’re only diminishing your own…because until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.
When it’s EXPECTATION
Seems like we’re setting the bar lower than a snake’s belly, or we want immediate results without putting the work in, and both can lead to regret and frustration. Sometimes people pleasing can go too far, and we allow others that don’t really care about us to dictate our future.
We say we want to follow our dreams, but we take destiny out of our own hands when we live our lives based on limitations set by others. This is why managing our expectations is critical. It can be a challenge, but when we don’t, the monotony of life can get real boring real quick.
Now I’m not saying that work and daily routines aren’t important, but if you’re living unhappy day to day wanting more for yourself and your family, you might need to rethink your expectations. In fact, sometimes what’s more important than life’s to-do list are the NOT-TO-DO list.
Some of the things we SHOULD STOP DOING:
Spending most of your time completing tasks related to your job, at the sacrifice of family or your own health/happiness
Spending more time and energy on things you can’t control, like dwelling on the past or worrying about the future
Resenting others
Complaining. Instead, we should BE THE CHANGE
Not finding time for self-love/healing
Plenty people actually give their bosses more respect than they give their spouses. Think about that. You’re putting an entity that can literally drain you of your life, above those who helped give you life, and that ain’t right.
So how do get out of the cycle of these bad habits, and just how do you get the monkey off your back? Well as said before, you gots to reveal before you heal. Your monkey might not even be on your back, it might just be staring you right in face. Or, uncovering what you should let go of might take the therapy and counseling so many of us need, but run from.
We often know the recipe that needs to be implemented for change in our lives, but knowing something and doing it are two different things. If you’re struggling to take the first step, know that that’s all it is, is a step. This is not an overnight movement, but the tiniest of shifts that can make a big difference when you’re consistent.
You can gradually create the shift you’ve been looking for when you face your problems head on, even when the problem is you. No matter how much you have gone through. No matter how much we have suffered. The pain is temporary, and You. Can. Change. Your. Life!
You can change your world, and it all starts with one small step.
Coach Sorsby
Changing the world around me by first changing myself